"R.I.P. to my old computer chair. You has been with me since I was a little pup."
Sasha the wiener dog here. I is in a bad mood today. Nothing has gone right at all. I thinks I wants to go back to bed and have a do over day.
First, Mommy's noisy alarm tic toc thingy went off at 6:00 am. That is before the sun even was a wake. It was still night time, and she got me up. I didn't get to do my wake up wiggle and sneak a lick dance or anything.
Second, Mommy took me outside and it was raining and cold and I gots my paws dirty in what I hope was mud. I was like ewww, no way am I like going potty in this. Mommy made me stay out there until I went. Then, I had to wash my paws when I got in. Nothing like getting your tootsies all sudsy to wake a wiener dog up.
Third, I went to get up in my computer chair while Mommy was checking her e-mail, and it wasn't there. There was a new one in its place, and it smelt funny like plastic. Then, Mommy said that Grandma doesn't want me in the new computer chair. And I was like you just said what? Not in the computer chair. How is I suppose to twitter, blog, and update all my doxie peeps. I jumped up in the new one, and Mommy put me down. She showed me an old chair or the blanket on the floor. The old chair didn't have wheels or comfy cushions, or nothing. Not right I said so I pouted on the floor.
After I recovered from all that, I thoughts I would take a nice nap under a warm blankie on the sofa. Mommy was watching one of those documentaries on what would happen if there were no more people. Seriously, I wants to know what would happen to us poor wiener dogs then, but all they talked about was labs and food rotting. So I fell asleep.
Then, when I woke up. Mommy was no where to be found. I sniffed her out, and can you believe she took a shower with out me. Who is suppose to lick the water off her legs when she gets out if I is not there? I whimpered, and yipped at her from the crack at the bottom of the door. Then, she came out all smelling yucky like wet soapy human.
Finally, on tops of all that, Mommy had a package to goes to the Post Office. I was getting all excited while she was taping it and putting cute doxie stickers on it. I even went and found my leash. She got her shoes and keys, and tells me to "STAY!" I can't believe it. Yes, it is cold and rainy outside, but I demands a car ride I tells you. She tells me to "Stay, and be good!" I was not happy when the door shut so I yipped a good one just so she would feel bad for leaving me behind.
Well, I am pouting now, and I just wants this horrible terrible no good very bad day to be over with.