BBQ and the doxie gets none.

I am a pouting wiener dog right now. My humans had BBQ ribs and didn't share. You know an upset tummy is so worth BBQ pork ribs. All I managed to sneak was a few potato chip crumbs and a gummy candy from a human pup. Then, I gots the gummy stuck in the black part of my mouth near the back teeth. I couldn't get it out so Mommy fished it out and threw it away. Nothing like having your dessert contaminated by human fingers and then tossed out with the trash. :(

Pool Party Horror!!

(Seriously, would you want to share a pool with that crazy wiener?)

Sasha, the wiener dog. I was all excited about going on a play date to my buddies Frito, Zuke, and Peewee's house and something called a Pool Party. I figured party means food and where food is I is going. But, you can imagine the horror on my face when these crazy humans and one slightly insane wiener dog (who shall remain nameless) decide to involve water in this so called party. Don't they know that wiener dogs don't like wet fur! Seriously! Then, they all laughed at me when I was just showing the boys how a proper lady doggy paddles before I even got in the pool. Those boys were just splashing around getting everything wet. Best I show them how it is suppose to be done without all that needless exposure to excessive water and all. After that the humans through MY toys into the water. My blob and my squeaky bone that Miss Diana made me for my birthday (It still had a working squeaker, too.) went into the pool. The boys got all excited over this so I went to pout far away from the pool. So I thought I was done with this whole getting wet on purpose thing, then they brought out a party game. Bobbing for hot dogs! First, of all I ain't bobbing for nothing. Second, isn't it a bit weird that you expect wiener dogs to go bobbing for wieners. It was a bit too creepy if you ask me. So of course, I politely refused this activity and the soggy hot dogs.

Well, after all this torture, then Mommy goes off to her allergy shot and leaves me there. So I thought, OK see what there is to do that doesn't involve wetness. Nope, I was quickly snatched up and doxie hijacked to what apparently was some kind of park. Well, you can see (at this you tube link) that I am not to happy about this either.

So I came home to go potty after my dinner and to end this horrible day the sprinklers came on just as I was going. I gave mommy my "OH POOP!" face and quickly finished my business. Well, off to rest up from this pool party horror story.

Electricians Go Home!!!

Sasha your favorite frustrated wiener dog here. Those electricians are still not done. I have had precious little on-line time all week cause of them. I have been trying to be good either cooped up in the basement or in the computer room. But, there is nothing to do but bark, read books, and watch two movies on a portable DVD player mom has. The battery only lasts for about two movies. Not fun at all.

Mommy did let me pick two library books though for my very own to read, but I caught her reading them, too. Of course, I picked two good dachshund fantasy ones. Unfortunately, they were in the human pup section. What don't human grown-ups like to read about doxies who are magic and can talk or plot to take down Westminster Dog Show. You know I don't think a dachshund has ever won best in show ever, and don't tell me there hasn't been at least one good dachshund in all those years. Well, that is what really gets to us dachshunds no respect for the fine breed we are. I know back to the point.

The Dogmagic book by Holly Webb had a very cute doxie pup on the cover, and I could swear that some one broke into my puppy pic files on that one cause it looks just likes me. The book was about Sofie a talking dachshund who was a human girls witch's familiar. She was french and I just loves her doxie attitude in the book. I just wished they put a warning label on it cause Sofie being a magic dog ate chocolate, drank coffee, and ate raisins. However, if human pups gave their dogs those things it would make them really sick. Not good.

Flawed Dogs The Novel by Berkeley Breathed was just awesome pawsome. I loved it. I laughed. I cried. There was so much of it that taught several good lessons. Plus, you got to like when the dog show gets trashed. heehee. Doxie revenge is sweet. 4 paws up and yes even adult humans would like this book. Plus, the cartoon pics are so funny.

I wonder what will be next on my library list. I so wish that dogs could have their own library cards. Not all of us eat the pages you know.

Well, I best be back to the umpteenth showing of Open Season 2. I do love Mr. Wienie, but really mommy I can bark the lines myself by now.

Don't make me beg!

Sasha, the wiener dog here.

I was thinking. I beg for lots of things like my picture to be taken, cheese, treats, squeak balls to be thrown, and of course bye-bye trips in the car. However, I don't beg for the sucking loud roaring monster that mommy uses to suck up all the crumbs in the carpet. Doesn't she know I was saving those for later! No wonder my big brother Charlie charges at it and growls and barks like one mad puppy. So Mommy, I is begging you please put the sucking monster back in the closet and leave the carpet for me to clean!

Charlie and I gots mail today.

Mommy got a package in the mail from Gigi's Mommy at YLBB shop on ETSY today and it was paw cream to help our paws not be so dry. She also got a sample of tinted lip balm for herself, but I will kiss that off later. At first I thought it was more treats, but then I's figure out that it was a sample of this greasy stuff Mommy wanted on my paws. It felt weird on my paws kind of like mud but more slippery. After Mommy managed to get it on, both Charlie and I had to try and lick it off. Darn mommy rubbed it in too good though. We got so excited after our paw message that we had a little wrestling match. I won as usual. Oh, and mommy says thank you to Gigi's mom and I is suppose to say thank you, too.

Are Your Humans A Bit Weird?

Sasha here.

OK, you pets out there, it is time to share the poop scoop on your humans. What is it with the furless wonders of ours? Why do they have to embarrass us so?

Fur example, I is outside trying to find a good place to you know when a big dog comes by taking her human for a walk. I start barking a conversation (Trying to catch up on all the latest neighborhood dog gossip.), and all mommy cares about is a certain bodily function that has not been done yet. Seriously, can we say take a chill pill or what? I'll poo when I am good and ready for Pete's sake.

Then, there is the kissing me on my nose thing. Really, do I looks like I want to infect my ever so useful nose with human germs! Oh, and minty fresh breath is a real turn off for dogs by the way.

Now, it is your turn pets. Vent those human oddities that just get under your fur and you know we will all understand.

My Horrible Terrible No Good Very Bad Day!

"R.I.P. to my old computer chair. You has been with me since I was a little pup."

Sasha the wiener dog here. I is in a bad mood today. Nothing has gone right at all. I thinks I wants to go back to bed and have a do over day.

First, Mommy's noisy alarm tic toc thingy went off at 6:00 am. That is before the sun even was a wake. It was still night time, and she got me up. I didn't get to do my wake up wiggle and sneak a lick dance or anything.

Second, Mommy took me outside and it was raining and cold and I gots my paws dirty in what I hope was mud. I was like ewww, no way am I like going potty in this. Mommy made me stay out there until I went. Then, I had to wash my paws when I got in. Nothing like getting your tootsies all sudsy to wake a wiener dog up.

Third, I went to get up in my computer chair while Mommy was checking her e-mail, and it wasn't there. There was a new one in its place, and it smelt funny like plastic. Then, Mommy said that Grandma doesn't want me in the new computer chair. And I was like you just said what? Not in the computer chair. How is I suppose to twitter, blog, and update all my doxie peeps. I jumped up in the new one, and Mommy put me down. She showed me an old chair or the blanket on the floor. The old chair didn't have wheels or comfy cushions, or nothing. Not right I said so I pouted on the floor.

After I recovered from all that, I thoughts I would take a nice nap under a warm blankie on the sofa. Mommy was watching one of those documentaries on what would happen if there were no more people. Seriously, I wants to know what would happen to us poor wiener dogs then, but all they talked about was labs and food rotting. So I fell asleep.

Then, when I woke up. Mommy was no where to be found. I sniffed her out, and can you believe she took a shower with out me. Who is suppose to lick the water off her legs when she gets out if I is not there? I whimpered, and yipped at her from the crack at the bottom of the door. Then, she came out all smelling yucky like wet soapy human.

Finally, on tops of all that, Mommy had a package to goes to the Post Office. I was getting all excited while she was taping it and putting cute doxie stickers on it. I even went and found my leash. She got her shoes and keys, and tells me to "STAY!" I can't believe it. Yes, it is cold and rainy outside, but I demands a car ride I tells you. She tells me to "Stay, and be good!" I was not happy when the door shut so I yipped a good one just so she would feel bad for leaving me behind.

Well, I am pouting now, and I just wants this horrible terrible no good very bad day to be over with.

Repair Man Grrrrowl!

You wonder why repair men make us doxies so cranky. First, they come in and we get pinned behind the baby gate or puppy prison crate. Then, they make lots of noise going back and forth to their truck to get tools and parts. We doxies get all excited all over again. Then, at the end of this horrible ordeal, they have to order a part. So in two to five weeks time, we will have to go through this trauma all over again. Grrowl! Mommy and Grandma aren't happy either. :(